Hey Everyone,
I was just remembering my early days of online dating and how I had many lessons to learn before I became a seasoned online dater (and before I met my boyfriend of 4 years – Yoav appreciation photo above!). I looked back on some of my first-timer online dating blunders and thought, “Wow, I wish I had done some more research on online dating.”
So, I want to share some of the lessons I learned with you so that you don’t have to make the same mistakes.
3 important lessons I learned when I was online dating that I wish I knew from the start…
1. Your first impression is not always the defining one.
Let’s face it, most people are nervous on a first date. They may not show their wildly funny sense of humor or their interesting hobbies or their impossibly cute dance moves until a few dates in. They may have so much more to them than what they show on their first time meeting you.
2. You can’t be passive when online dating.
There were many months I wasted online dating waiting for people to ask me out. I finally learned that many people just take too long or maybe don’t ever ask you out. So I started being proactive. Not just in asking people out, but also taking time every day to swipe and/or message with matches. As you will hear me say again and again, you can’t be a dabbler when it comes to online dating.
3. Develop a thick skin.
As much as you can, try not to take things personally. Most people don’t mean anything personal when they disappear after messaging for several days. Some people aren’t ready or simply don’t have the time, or have any number of other extenuating factors in their lives that, unfortunately, you won’t ever know. Even if the person doesn’t want to have a second date after you meet in person, you need to remember that they don’t even know the real you yet (see lesson #1!). If you take every blow off or decline on another date personally, you will continuously feel let down by online dating.
I hope you find these helpful.
As always, happy dating!
Alyssa
P.S. Want to ask me anything style- or dating-related on a Zoom call? Check out the Dynamic Dating Membership page here. We are currently offering an introductory rate for the annual membership (12 months of Zoom Q&A sessions, plus guest experts and style and shopping guides) for only $129 per year!
Need help with your online dating profile? Schedule a consultation to learn more.
And if you’re a previous SMP client, click here to find out about date coaching!
