The Question of “Sex Positivity”
I’m always here to keep you updated on most recent hot button topics and questions that come up about online dating. So here’s one that’s been coming up constantly with my clients:
“What is “Sex positivity”? What does it mean when someone lists “Sex positivity” on their profile? Should I list it on mine?”
I’ve noticed this has come up more recently about Bumble in particular. Bumble encourages you to add up to 5 pre-written interests that you can choose from a list. When you click “Add Interest Badges” on your profile, take a look at what comes up at the top:
Although there are over 200 options to choose from, “Sex positivity” is right up there at the top. Naturally, many people read it and think “Well yes, of course I feel positively and not negatively about sex — it’s a part of my life that I don’t hide from or feel shame about.”
That’s wonderful — I feel the same way! But here’s what you need to know: that is not how the term is universally understood on dating apps.
I bet many people who list it really do mean it earnestly. But I also know that many people who list it use it to indicate that sex is at the forefront of their dating lives. That’s also totally great and valid, but I want to make sure you’re up to speed on the fact that it might mean two very different things.
A general rule of thumb I’ve found is that if someone mentions sex in any capacity on their profile, it’s a signal that they lead with a more sex-forward energy.
So if you’re wondering, “Should I list this on my profile?” know that it will send a subliminal message to your potential matches that sex is what you’re looking for (potentially also sending a signal that you’re looking for sex instead of a relationship).
That being said, if you see someone who has it on their profile, it may mean a whole host of different things! Keep an eye out for any other innuendo or lack thereof on the person’s profile to try to determine what the definition of “sex positivity” is to them.
Always here for your online dating explanations 🫡
Happy Dating!
Alyssa
The One and Only DIY Profile Kit
Designed for getting your profile Swipe-Right ready in as little time as possible. With the DIY Profile Kit, you’ll learn to avoid the most common pitfalls that make for an undesirable profile while building a winning profile that attracts individuals who match your lifestyle and standards.
MORE ADVICE ABOUT BIOS
DIY PROFILE KIT
Purchase our Profile In An Hour, designed for getting your profile swipe-right ready in as little time as possible.
NOW ONLY! $79
Hi! I’m Alyssa Dineen and I’m a personal stylist and dating coach all rolled into one. I started Style My Profile to help other online daters feel better about getting out there— and staying out there— in the world of online dating. Whether it’s to meet your soulmate, to find a fun person to have dinner with or even just match with more people, I can help you from the ground up.
CATEGORIES
DIY PROFILE KIT
Purchase our Profile In An Hour, designed for getting your profile swipe-right ready in as little time as possible.
$79