About Me
I was with my ex for 18 years before finally leaving my marriage at age 41. Smartphones didn’t exist when I was last single, much less dating apps. I assumed my friends would set me up with their divorced guy friends and I’d be swimming in blind dates.
That happened once.
I realized I had to face facts: I needed to date online to meet people. So I got on the apps and did what most of us do—I chased the shiny profiles. The tall, hot, “has-it-all” guys. And I wound up anxious, confused, and begging for crumbs.
Then I met the man with the bland profile.
No fireworks at first. Just a kind, consistent, responsive human who kept me curious. By date four, he relaxed, his humor landed, and the chemistry snapped into place. Eight years later, he’s anything but vanilla—but his profile was.
That experience changed everything. It taught me that the goal isn’t instant chemistry. It’s finding someone who makes you feel good, safe, and seen. Someone you actually want to spend time with—not just someone who looks good on paper.
Alyssa Dineen is a dating coach, profile strategist, and author based in NYC. She founded Style My Profile to help midlife daters—especially those re-entering the dating world after divorce—feel confident and successful navigating modern dating apps.
With 20 years of styling expertise, an art director’s eye, and her own personal dating experience, Alyssa teaches a practical, repeatable framework called Date Vanilla. Her approach helps clients ages 45–70 build authentic profiles, work with app algorithms, identify green-flag partners, and create real, lasting relationships.
Alyssa’s book, The Art of Online Dating, shares personal stories and actionable strategies for building confidence in your dating life. She also hosts The Dating Lab Podcast, where she explores midlife dating challenges, red and green flags, and how to date smarter—not harder.
Her work has been featured in The New York Times, The Today Show, Goop, NBC, Bravo, and Oprah Daily.
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