My List of the 7 Best Books for Modern Daters
How did you fare on the viral New York Times 100 Best Books of the 21st Century? I won’t reveal my actual count out of mild embarrassment… suffice it to say, my Goodreads queue is now extremely long.
Over at Style My Profile, we have our own list: The 7 Best Books for Modern Daters!
How many have you read, and how many will you be adding to your want to read list?
How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love, by Logan Ury
A behavioral scientist who led the Relationship Science team at Hinge, Ury is uniquely qualified to write a book using actual data and numbers to decode modern dating, both on and off the apps. Think of this book as your way to get un-stuck, both mentally and practically, when it comes to all things dating.
Speaking In Thumbs: A Psychiatrist Decodes Your Relationship Texts So You Don’t Have To, by Dr. Mimi Winsberg
Dr. Winsberg was formerly Facebook’s in-house psychiatrist, and took all of her learnings about the psychology behind messaging and texting in the context of dating and turned it into Speaking in Thumbs. It’s the one stop shop master how to message, as well as how to use psychology to interpret what people really mean by their texts. And if you want some key highlights without reading the whole thing, you can check out my interview with Dr. Winsberg here!
Make Your Move: The New Science of Dating and Why Women Are in Charge, by Jon Birger
For everyone who’s feeling dating app burnout (so… literally everyone), here’s the book that’ll show you how to put down the apps and meet people out in the wild. I first learned about it from one of my clients, who raved to me about this book and the confidence (and concrete ideas) it gave her. And now I’m a fan too!
Attached: Are you Anxious, Avoidant or Secure? How the science of adult attachment can help you find – and keep – love, by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
People think attachment theory is only for folks in relationships, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I read this book when I was single, and it taught me so much about what I *actually* need from all of the relationships in my life in order to feel fulfilled. It deeply impacted what I looked for on early dates and how I advocated for myself.
It Begins With You: The 9 Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life, by Jillian Turecki
You may know Jillian Turecki from her super popular Instagram presence where she offers so much helpful advice about dating and relationships (seriously, go scroll through her videos). This is her first book, and I couldn’t be more excited for it. It’s not out until January, but make sure to pre-order now!
Big Dating Energy: How to Create Lasting Love by Tapping Into Your Authentic Self, by Jeff Guenther and Kate Happ
Jeff Guenther, aka @therapyjeff, is another psychology-professional-turned-Instagram-guru I admire. He makes forging through the muck of modern dating fun with his never-ending sense of humor and tell-it-like-it-is attitude. Here’s all of his wit and wisdom compiled in one place.
The Art of Online Dating: Style Your Most Authentic Self and Cultivate a Mindful Dating Life, by Alyssa Dineen!
Well, as the author, I can definitely vouch for this one! This book contains my whole heart and soul. It details my journey from divorce to navigating online dating to finding love, and is full of every single thing I learned along the way: about how to build a dating profile that is actually flattering/interesting/eye-catching (unlike the vast, vast majority); how to weed through the not so great profiles on dating apps and find the good ones; how to style yourself for a date; how to be open to love while still protecting your heart and focusing on what really matters in a partner—and so much more. I can’t believe I wrote a whole book, much less one I’m THIS proud of. May I suggest it for your next book club book?
Any other dating bibles out there I should make sure to read? Reply and let me know!
Happy reading!
Alyssa
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Hi! I’m Alyssa Dineen and I’m a personal stylist and dating coach all rolled into one. I started Style My Profile to help other online daters feel better about getting out there— and staying out there— in the world of online dating. Whether it’s to meet your soulmate, to find a fun person to have dinner with or even just match with more people, I can help you from the ground up.
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