How Dining Alone Can Be A Dating Strategy

I was so interested to see this article titled “More people than ever are eating alone at restaurants. This is why” pop up in my news channels last week. Basically, OpenTable crunched some numbers and determined that people are making more solo dining reservations than ever before—like, a lot more. Another survey found that 60% of respondents had eaten out alone in the past year.

I love this. Let’s normalize enjoying food for food’s sake, and enjoying our own company! The times I’ve sat at a table or bar by myself—sometimes with a book, sometimes just people watching or lost in my own thoughts, but importantly not glued to my phone—have been some of the most enjoyable and memorable meals of my life.

And I think this can be used to your dating advantage as well. Here are three ways to work this into a dating strategy.

1. Get To Your Dinner Early

I’ve stood by this piece of advice for years: if you’re going out to dinner with a friend, get there half an hour early and have a drink at the bar. But here’s the key—you’ve got to look friendly and approachable.

Here’s how:

• Sit up straight, adjust your chair so you’re facing slightly out and away from the bar, and look around
• Watch your facial expression—aim for pleasant openness, like you’re thinking fondly of a nice memory
• Chat with the bartender—it’s easier for someone to overhear your conversation and join in than to start one from scratch
• Have a book handy. Don’t become so engrossed in it that you’re lost in book world and look like you don’t want to be disturbed, but a book is a perfect talking point for someone to start chatting with you
• Don’t go on your phone!! Nothing says “I don’t want to talk to you” like someone buried in their phone

This is an absolutely gold scenario. It’s not at all weird that you’re there alone, because you’re just waiting for your friend to show up! You look cool, approachable, and social. And if someone starts chatting with you who you’re not interested in, your friend will be there shortly to sweep in for the rescue.

2. Become a Solo Dining Regular

Especially now that solo dining has become so commonplace, make yourself a regular at a local spot you love. Follow all the same tips from above, but no need to meet a friend for the meal portion. Sit at the bar and enjoy a meal and me-time, all while staying open to striking up conversations with other solo diners.

3. Befriend the Bartenders

The bartenders are the ones with the intel on the other regulars, and they’re wizards at facilitating conversations between patrons. Once the bartenders at your spot know you a little bit, you can ask them to keep an eye out for you and help give you smooth entry points to chatting with any other folks at the bar who are attractive.

Give this a try and let me know how it works for you!

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Happy Dating!

Alyssa

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